Its 3.20pm the day after my latest Whole day Chemo session, and I still feel pretty crap.Was still awake at 4.00am this morning and I managed to grab a few hours fitfull sleep, eventually getting out of bed at 10.30.
Yesterday started really well, Ju and I managed to grab our breakfast at KFC before we had to report to Oncology at 9.00. Ju dropped me off got then set off to buy our Concessioary Parking Ticket , £1.20 for the WHOLE day !!!. By the time she had caught up with me in the unit, I made her aware that I had been told my white cell count was quite low from the test taken on Tuesday, so they were going to bleed me again to see if there was any improvment, it not I would'nt be able to have my Chemo that day . While the results were being assessed , I had my 1st infusion of saline.
The results came back borderline , but the good Doctor Sarah Pascoe , was reluctant to defer treatment, and it was agreed to go ahead, tho I was warned that as my white count was as low as it was , I would have to extra vigilant for any side effects and to contact them if I felt unsure about ANYTHING.
Treatment finshed at 4.30 (early eh ?) and we came home , picking Milo up from Mother-in-Law on the way. Felt pretty nauseous so went with out tea, until the anti sickness pills kicked in, even then it was only Soup !
Feeling really tired went to bed at 9.45 and checked my bloods, over 26, but as I was on steroids this was expected now, tho I still have to take huge doses of insulin to keep them down below 20 !. After sleepless night, checked them again this morning and they were remarkably down to just 12.8. Tho after breakfast, toast, and another steriod , by 2pm they were back up to 22 again.
My arms ache, and my left , particulary around the sight of canula is very tender, and this new mouth wash ,Difflam,I have to take 4 times a day to try and get rid of these really annoying mouth ulcers that I have had for what feels like a month!
I know it seems like I am just moaning , but I never expected to feel this shit. Cant work like this, and I feel like I am letting my workmates down, especially the guys in Despatch.
I know there are other people with cancer, far, far worse off than me, and I really do feel sorry for them, but I am afraid I can't help feeling sorry for myself a bit too. Life seems so unfair, somebody has to have shit luck, but why me. I mean , I havent exactly had the best of health the last 19 years !! Tho on the positive side, I survived all that crap, so I should , by rightrs, survive this !
On the plus side , after my smaller dose on Thursday 21/4 , Sarah Pascoe has decided to give me a 4 week break before the final cycle of this first set. This is to give me a chance to get my white cell count back up to normal.
Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings and I really appreciate your comments.
Enjoy your weekend
Stay safe & Well xxx
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It is so undeserving. Even if people have it worse than you, you still have this going on and you can't ignore it. I know you'll get better because it seems like things are on the up for you!! Just have faith and be strong because that will fight this cancer off!!! xx
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